This is a hilarious piss-take of the cult in the latest episode of Count Arthur Strong written by Steve Delaney and Graham Linehan [Father Ted and IT Crowd]. Who knew that the secret to clearing the planet was ‘biscuits’, lol
if you can’t access the BBC iPlayer link above then you can watch the best bits below… but these links tend to go down pretty quick
out in the real world scientology’s “cans” are always an object of ridicule
Ive had a few twitter conversations with Graham Linehan over the years…. pretty sure my Avatar’s nutsack registered somehow…
It’s Saturday. Yay Terra Cognita
Scientology Can’t Promote Scientology Using Scientology Anymore
Besides the obvious, what do all these groups have in common?
The Foundation for a Drug-Free World.
The Way to Happiness Foundation.
The answer: they’re all businesses under the auspices of Scientology with the goal of driving new people into their orgs and missions. Sure they have other, lesser purposes, but their ultimate objective is to create new Scientologists, who in turn, theoretically add to the coffers of the mother church.
The Tech Just Ain’t Workin’
Using L. Ron Hubbard technology to promote Scientology hasn’t worked for the last three or four decades. And thus, senior management has resorted to luring in new conscripts through the back door via these ancillary organizations.
Long ago, management realized that most people weren’t buying what Scientology was selling based on LRH tech. Unfortunately for them, this Plan B of creating quasi-Scientology offshoots hasn’t worked, either.
Maybe people are brushing their teeth more regularly after reading The Way to Happiness but they aren’t rushing into missions and they rinse and spit.
Dentists aren’t lining up for org services after having applied Scientology conditions to their practices.
Sober Narconon graduates aren’t flooding orgs to do the Comm Course. Reformed Criminon graduates aren’t lining up for auditing.
Kids aren’t dropping out of school and enrolling on The Student Hat after having learned how to properly clear their words and “get more mass” on subjects.
And last but least, the psychiatric industry hasn’t tossed out their text books in favor of Scientology therapy.
Don’t worry! DM has come up with a Plan C: blanket the planet with “ideal” orgs! And if that doesn’t work, he has a Plan D: flood the late-night airwaves with Scientology via his new multi-million dollar, renovated Hollywood news studio.
For decades, Church leader David Miscavige has promised to pound radio and TV with mainstream Scientology advertising. There always seems to be one more goal that must be met, though, before this can happen. If it’s not the release of the next Golden Age of This or That, and all parishioners having to finish their Basics, it’s the requirement that all orgs must go ideal and reach size the size of Old Saint Hill. Or some arbitrary number of OTs must reach level 7 or 8 before DM finally pulls out all the stops. It’s always something.
No doubt, Plan E has to do with the release of OT 9 and 10. (David Mayo is diligently working on it. Just another month or two!)
But People Just Wouldn’t Understand
There are many of reasons why the church can’t use its tech to promote Scientology:
Scientology must be studied on a gradient. Most of the tech is out-gradient for people.
People couldn’t “have it.” (Especially the prices, The Wall of Fire, and body thetan theory.)
People wouldn’t understand.
The literacy rate is too low. People don’t read anymore. LRH wrote for a more educated populace.
People are more degraded today; PTS to the middle class; open minded; third-partied; under the influence of psychiatry.
Everyone’s on drugs.
And of course, much of the tech just doesn’t work.
Scientology has lots excuses—I mean reasons—for man’s sorry state of affairs:
Psychiatry, bent on destroying the planet, has permeated all aspects of society.
Big Pharma has been addicting people for decades now.
The IRS has been sucking people dry.
All government is evil; its sole purpose is to keep man down.
A cabal of international bankers has been working for decades to control and bankrupt the world.
All these groups are joined at the hip and actively working to destroy Planet Earth. Their number one enemy—and the only one who can stop them—is the Church of Scientology.
Scientology has to be very cautious in how they promote. The mere mention of the words Scientology, Dianetics, or L. Ron Hubbard, all too often drive people away. OT levels, Xenu, DC8s, and BT’s—the really good stuff—are all confidential. The church rarely talks about spirituality.
Orgs and missions must be circumspect with what they display in their front windows. On one hand, they want to show off their products. On the other, they’re reticent to reveal too much and cause too much attention to themselves. The fear of someone tossing a brick through the plate glass is very real.
Instead, Scientology has resorted to these auxiliary organizations to get people hooked on their tech. WISE uses LRH organizational policies to captivate doctors and dentists. The Way to Happiness Foundation uses LRH’s “common sense” precepts to entice people in the front door. The logic is that these basic guidelines make so much sense and are so easy to understand, that everything else about Scientology must be as straightforward and wonderful.
I’m not sure whether individuals are following the lead of church management or it’s the other way around. One thing is clear, though, members and management alike are afraid to mention Scientology or L. Ron Hubbard when promoting to the public.
I could not find the word “Scientology” mentioned anywhere on Narconon’s official website. I discovered one instance of the name, L. Ron Hubbard, in small type, at the very bottom of their home page.
Little to no FSMing occurs anymore as evidenced by empty orgs—many of which have been upgraded to “ideal” (FSM: Field Staff Member; all Scientologists are automatically entrusted with the responsibility of bringing all their family and friends into the fold).
The problem is individuals are embarrassed to tell their friends and co-workers they’re involved with Scientology. Deep down, they recognize the tech works sporadically at best, senior management is corrupt, prices for services are unreal, and the organization reflects many of the same characteristics attributable to classic cults. They inherently understand—subconsciously or not—that involving family and friends would actually be an overt (a misdeed, transgression, sin, or crime).
I would be wary of getting involved with any organization that was afraid to use their name to promote their products. That was afraid of mentioning the man who “discovered” and formulated their technology—half of which was off limits and hidden under a guise of “confidentiality.” And that was afraid to open up their financial books.
Still not Declared,
they’re really doing a number on her….